prank caller

Linus prank-called me yesterday.

INT. my office.

Me: "Hello?  Hello?"

Linus: "Poop and a poop poop poop."

Me: "Thanks, Linus."

Linus: "Okay, bye."

critical thinking

INT. our car approaching the Connecticut River. Linus: What will happen if our car went into the water? _: That wouldn't be so good; we would probably sink. L: But our windows are not open. _: What do you think would happen? L: We would float on the water. _: And how about if we opened the windows? L: Then the water would come into our car and we would sink.

game changer

i must not forget this milestone. i remember wondering when this day would come, having the good fortune, as mama, of enduring much love/comfort-induced abuse.

linus: "he-ey mama, i love you."

mama: "i love you too, linus, so so much. you make me feel so good when you tell me that!"

linus: "i love you thiiiiiiiiiiis much." stretching arms out as wide as they go.

alternate response

linus: "i love all the people in the world i ever seen."

mama: "you should tell all the people that when you see them."

linus: "ok."

take the L train

never want these days to end

a linus songbook, part 1

The Itsy Bitsy Spider:
The itsy bitsy spader went up the water spout
Down came derain and washed the spader out
Up came the sun and dried up all derain
And the itsy bitsy spader went up the water spout again
Hey!

A, B, C:
A, B, C, D, E, F, G
H, I, K, A,
L O men O P.
Q, R, S,
T, U, V,
W, X, Y and Z,
Next time non't you sing with me?

more extremely human qualities

The jokes have definitely evolved. The latest thing is "when I was a baby, I couldn't say [word]; I said [slight mutation of word]." It's wild. Child exhibits great interest in what it's like to be a baby; has started talking about what it would be like to have another baby in the family.

The other thing that will be funny when he's older is that he'll wake up at 5:30am and announce "I'm ready to get up," then negate any and every factual statement we make (it's too early, nobody in the neighborhood is up yet, it's not breakfast time yet, the night isn't over yet, we still need to sleep, etc.).

The other other thing is that he's really into counterfactuals and uses the subjunctive mood correctly. "If that thing were too big, it would fall down." He also uses "lay" and "lie" appropriately.

Also let's always remember that "the itsy bitsy spider" sounds like "the itsy bitsy spader."

i'm tired of this.

our family has been sick for the past week or so. whether linus is actually sick, i am not sure, but he has responded to the sickness of his parents as a new two-year-old might. he was overdue for a nap this afternoon, walking around the kitchen, being destructive. i, of course, not at my parenting best, may have snatched a pan out of his hand and yelled "no" in his ear at the sound of metal crashing against metal. my limit came after he reached down my shirt in a rather rough manner than hit me in the face. needless to say, i allowed him to be sad on the floor for a few moments after that.

i picked him up to sit on my lap and, rubbing his eyes, he said, "i'm tired of this." i said, "i know, honey. i'm tired of this too. what should we do instead?" pause. "have milk." "have milk in bed?" "yeah."

snooze.

pretend papa

we had a guest at lunch today: pretend papa.

pretend papa ate corn out of linus's soup, ate the pumpkin on the table, sat on the couch, and read stories to linus.

first response to the question, "who loves linus?": angie.

unexpected responses

When asked what he would like to have for lunch today, upon waking up from his nap, he replied, "Hot sauce."

After a good 15 minutes of nursing before bed, without saying much at all, Linus pops off the boob to say, "I love you." Nurse nurse. "Made Papa sad." Nurse Nurse. "Broke water can." Nurse nurse nurse.